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Category Archives: Nursing
A Growing Problem
An ambulance technician in Scotland, in his post Fat Chance, has finally (and beautifully) put into words some of the frustration I’ve felt so many times when working with obese patients: Morbid obesity is dangerous, hence the moniker, but in the emergency situation it’s not the ischaemic heart disease that causes the problems, nor the diabetes, cellulitis or dyspnoea. It’s just the weight. If we can’t lift you when you can’t walk, you’re not going anywhere. Bravo. It’s not that we don’t like you because you’re fat. It’s just so … Continue reading
Insight
There are cameras in the patient rooms on our psych units. The images they produce are tiny, black and white, and grainy. (That’s not really by design; they’re just very old, and they aren’t broken, so there’s no reason to replace them.) They don’t show much detail — just enough to allow us to keep an eye on people who might be liable to hang themselves with a bed sheet or try to dance naked on one foot on the back of a plastic chair. No, I didn’t just randomly … Continue reading
Posted in Nursing, Parallel Universes
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HIPAA, HIPAA, Hooray for Bureaucracy!
We were getting a new patient on the psych unit. This person had been picked up by the police with no ID, psychotic and mute. We were informed we couldn’t admit them as J___ Doe, which was the name the police had given them, because that would reveal their gender, thereby violating their privacy. The admitting office, therefore, assigned them the name “Tangerine Doe.” What I still can’t figure out is exactly who we were trying not to reveal this person’s gender to, and why? Even if I yelled from … Continue reading
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Medically Stable
There’s always a pause in the activities in the nurse’s station when the anonymous voice comes over the loudspeaker urgently summoning the “rapid response team” to a patient’s room. Somewhere in the hospital, a nurse has sensed that a patient has taken a turn for the worse, and has called for help. Our pulses quicken slightly, our breathing becomes shallow, and there is a brief lull while we wait…the lives of other humans are daily in our hands, and the thought of losing one of them is one that fills … Continue reading
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Psych Patient Quote of the Day
While doing a medical history on a psychotic/delusional young man, I asked if he had any problems with his lungs. He replied, in a somewhat mystified tone, “Yeah… I have to keep breathing.”
Posted in Nursing, Parallel Universes
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Irony
It’s evening on the psych unit. Several patients are watching the movie Titanic in the common area. Rather, they are trying to watch it, but their view is blocked by a delusional woman who is alternately twirling and dancing gaily in front of the television and then holding animated conversations with it, her face scant inches from the screen. The others are amazingly tolerant, simply craning their necks this way and that as they try to see around her. Fast forward about 30 minutes: Snack time. Coffee, juices, cheese and … Continue reading
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On Again, Off Again
The patient, newly arrived on the unit, is sitting in a chair in the middle of her room. Her hands are clenched in her hair, one on each side of her head. Her eyes are screwed shut, and she is kicking her legs and yelling at the top of her lungs. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!” I knock, then walk into the room with a tray. “Here, I brought your dinner,” I say through the din. The patient stops yelling, opens her eyes, and takes the tray. “Thank you,” she says calmly, smiling up … Continue reading
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